Latina Leadership Lessons: When We Wear Masks

As a conclusion to October’s theme of La Bruja, and this past weekend’s celebration of both Halloween and Dia de los Muertos, I wanted to comment a bit on how and when we as Latinas wear masks.

Although playful and fun when at a costume party (and who doesn’t enjoy dressing up and playing make-believe from time to time?), we often wear masks in our daily lives to keep others from getting too close, from seeing each of us for who we truly are.

Many days we rush around so busy, working to get all the tasks done that must be accomplished in our lives, and fail to stay aligned with our true purpose, and our calling of why we’re here, and instead of doing what really matters, we get caught up in the pequeñesas (little stuff).

Over the past month, I’ve been encouraging you to step into your power, to recognize and honor the magic that is in you, and to celebrate the sparks you give to and receive from others in your world.

What are the masks we wear and why?

You probably know the mask of the “queen” — the mask that tells everyone that you have it all under control and no one can knock you off your game. While this can be a mask of power, it can also be a mask of fear — especially when it keeps us from asking for help or from sharing our burdens with others.

Another typical Latina “mask” is the mask of the martyr. Ay ay ay, I do everything for everyone else and am not appreciated! This mask is usually paired with manipulation that is wielded through the tool of guilt. It again can be a mask of pain, when we lack the ability to communicate our deep needs without demanding that others capitulate to our demands, and also the characteristic of irresponsibility when we fail to take care of ourselves and our own needs (claiming that someone else must do something for us).

Yet another mask is the mask of the victim — the wounded one, when we use our pain once again as an excuse to fail to take action. If we don’t work on healing ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to do it for us?

Quitate la máscara, mujer, and be the Powerful Latina that you are!

Part of my calling is to help us, as Latinas, to share courage, strength and wisdom through our stories. Our interviewees have been candid, and shown their own vulnerability, by opening up and telling us about the masks they’ve worn in their own lives and what they do (or have done) to take them off and be more authentic. Have you reflected lately on your own story? I know you have a unique and special one, too.

I know that I have my own masks that I put on to keep myself “safe” and sometimes even to deceive myself! It is a daily practice to figure out where I’m sending my energy and to make sure that I’ve got my priorities straight so that I can do what I really need and want to do… (and I’m constantly challenged, I’ll tell you that!)

Over the next couple of months, I’ll be unveiling a program to help we Latinas stay *grounded* in our power by reminding us of the truths we know deep inside us, and have been shared with us by our interviewees. I’ll be re-framing some of these stories we’ve heard, crystalizing the lessons for each of us to help them stay at the forefront of our minds and hearts, even as we each live the busy lives that we have.

What are your masks? Why do you wear them, and how do they keep you from being who you really want to be? How do they keep you OUT of your personal power? If I’m any indication, the masks can be subtle and tricky, and change as we heal one area of our lives and shift to work on another. It’s important to have the self knowledge of where we come from, where we’ve been, and where we are now, to be able to better direct where we’re going.

Let’s work on it together!