Don’t Take It Personally – A Simple Lesson from Wabi Sabi

A friend of mine recently introduced me to the concept of Wabi Sabi, a concept originated in Japan, that teaches us to see the beauty in imperfection.  (There’s obviously a lot more to the philosophy; however, that is a simple overview.)

We are all imperfect, and there is so much beauty and possibility in imperfection.  It is actually through the things that are NOT perfect in our lives that we learn the most.  And this goes for the imperfect people around us…

A wise Wabi Sabi teacher explained it like this.

“When we are upset, it’s easy to blame others.  The true cause of our feelings, however, is within us.  For example, imagine yourself as a glass of water.

Now, imagine past negative experiences as sediment in the bottom of your glass.  Next, think of an unpleasant situation as a spoon.

When the spoon stirs, the sediment clouds your water.  It may appear that the spoon caused the water to cloud – but if there were no sediment, the water would remain clear.

Even if we remove the spoon, our sediment still remains – lying in wait for the next spoon to appear.

On the other hand, if we remove our sediment, then no matter how a spoon may stir, our water will remain clear.”*

How differently we think about our own and others’ reactions if we can understand this simple foundational idea.

When we take things personally, we are actually reacting to the events in the PAST, and allowing them to muddy the waters.  Instead, what if we saw that our reactions come from *within* us, and the same is true for others, as well.

It is difficult, in the moment, to be clear with who we are, what is our own “stuff” and what we need to do in reaction to others’ “stuff” – and as Latinas, the boundaries can be especially blurry.

This lesson, the lesson of making sure that you don’t take in and hold things that you don’t need to, that don’t belong to you, and that you release things you want and need to let go of, is a fundamentally important one.

This one lesson – simple in its conveyance and at times seemingly impossible to enact – can bring so much peace and joy.

Make sure you’re clear about the distinction between the sediment and the spoon…

*From the book: Living Wabi Sabi: The True Beauty of Your Life by Taro Gold