Keep Your Passion in Your Sights

We’re getting to know ourselves very well, and figuring out what moves us, motivates us and allows us to unleash our passion. This can be fun and exciting, and at times it can also feel like a lot of work!

How do we stay focused, motivated, and relaxed throughout it all?

Whenever we’re doing hard physical, mental or emotional work we need time to recharge, refresh and relax. And it may take time to figure out what is really going to give us energy and not drain us more.

I’ll give you some examples from my own life, as well as things that our Powerful Latina interviewees have suggested. One of my ways to “relax” is watching movies.

Sometimes this can be refreshing and energizing, and at other times the mood created by the movie throws me off my game. The trick is to find activities or actions that fill up the part of your tank you need to refill…

Another example is hanging out with friends. I love spending time with my girls, and yet at times, I just want to sit in the silence and meditate. What it takes to refresh you can vary depending on what is tiring you out, and what you need at the moment.

Sometimes a night out with my girlfriends fits the bill perfectly, and sometimes I need to simply be alone.

Powerful Latina interviewee Maria Rita Jaramillo, Senior Liaison, Community Outreach, Office of Governance and Policy, for the National Education Association (NEA), said she keeps an “atta-girl” scrapbook. So when she needs some motivation or inspiration she looks back at this scrapbook of nice notes she’s been sent, pictures that make her happy, or copies of awards she’s been given. What do YOU have in your house that you could compile to bring you joy and renewal when you need it? Put it in a scrapbook, or compile it in a drawer or shoe box. I have letters my son has written me over the years that never fail to touch me and make me cry (with tears of joy!).

Other interviewees spoke of taking time out to exercise, listen to music, get feedback from friends, or learn a new skill. Find whatever it is that *you* need at various times and then keep that list with you. I also, for example, have put together a CD of positive songs that I can listen to if I need some motivation or inspiration or simply a reminder of why my passion is so important.

Once we’re renewed, we can come back to our passions with vigor! It’s crucial to keep ourselves focused on the truly important things. For me, at least, it can be so easy to slip into the everyday and “forget” to self-reflect, to stay focused on my passions, and to use the tools I have at my disposal to have the best life ever.

In order to keep this focus, each of us needs to find what works for us — what activities, items, and practices can you put in place in your life — to make sure you can also stay focused on what’s important to you!

[If you haven't yet read Friday's article on passions we find outside of our careers, this is another idea of ways we can renew and refresh. Take a look at it here...]

Finding Your Passion (outside of your career)

We’ve been talking all month about the idea of “Finding Your Passion.”

And while I agree that you want to spend the majority of your time doing something that moves you, engages you, and is using your talents to their fullest purpose… Sometimes, it’s all about FUN!

Do you remember what you used to do as a little girl? For me, I loved to run down to the park (half a block away) and sit under the trees, swing in a swing or just “run around.” I loved to be active, connect with nature, and pretend.

I also loved to *dance*! Dancing, for me, has been a lifelong passion. I used to think it was what I wanted to do as a career.

However, I’ve been blessed to find out that it does not have to be my job, and I can still get an immense amount of enjoyment out of dancing.

I have taken dance classes, participated in dance concerts, gone out salsa dancing, and lately, even taken part in competitive ballroom dancing.

It’s clear to me that dancing is a part of my “ser” — a part of my being, and who I am.

And yet… I can get the needs I have met by just making sure I get out and move my bootie every once in a while. :) I have a dance “studio” set up in my garage, and I can dance there if nothing else. I can practice my arm placement, stretch my legs, and do spins, even if I’m all by myself.

What is that thing that moves you? Is it singing, writing, speaking with others, hiking, pretending or doing crafts? Is it traveling, learning new languages, reading a book of poetry, playing with your dog, drawing a picture, or teaching yoga?

Whatever it is that you love — make sure that you do it with some frequency! We often forget that what motivates us, and keeps us refreshed and resilient is simply listening to our spirit. And our spirit is very clear about what it needs and what it wants — because it’s what we love to do…

Finding your passion doesn’t have to be difficult or a long process.

It can be as simple as cooking a good meal for those you love, watching a funny movie, or spending some time shopping with a good girlfriend.

We all have things we want to do in our careers and professional lives, and at the same time, let’s not forget about what we do for pure pleasure.

Take some time to enjoy, mujer, and do that for you — and for those around you.

Wouldn’t we all be better off if we made sure that we fed our souls on at least a weekly basis? Find your passions, and go for it!

As Latinas, we tend to be so creative, so active, so talented — let’s get out there and show ‘em what we’re made of!!!

Find Your Passion!

This month we’re exploring what YOUR passion is.  Are you following your passions?  Do you know what they are?  Are you focused on what moves you, motivates you, and uses your talents to their greatest advantage?

And is this true for ALL areas of your life?

I’m in the middle of reading The Passion Test by Janet Bray Atwood and Chris Atwood, and I would highly recommend it.  They suggest writing a list of the most important things you can think of that would give you a life of joy, passion and fulfillment.  This is *not* a list of goals.

Rather, the list is of things you would do, be and have in your life and are VERBS — action words — that describe your ideal life.  Of course, this is a list they recommend re-creating every 6 months, as our lives evolve and change over time.

They suggest then ranking the list and keeping the top five items on your list present and with you all the time.

How many people in your life are around you constantly supporting you, urging you, and assisting you toward living the most passion-filled life ever?  What can you do to make sure that you are living each day energized and excited about what you are doing, creating and offering into the world?

If you live your passion, I’d love to hear your story.  If you’re looking for your passion, what tools do you use to help you on this journey?

I have been blessed to interview women who have found their passion and live their passion, and it shows!  Sometimes these women found their passion early in life; for others, it took more time.  But whatever the timeline, these women keep striving forward, looking to make every moment count.

There is so much out there and so many gifts that are unique to YOU.  What is your message, your dreams, your reason to be?  Talk about these ideas with your family and friends and get the people around you to work with you towards living the best life that you can.

Your message, your works, your joy and your PASSION is urgently needed by the world.  Go get ‘em, mujer!

Tackling the Hidden Barriers to Our Success (Part 1)

In November 2009 the Industrial Relations Officers published a study on Talent Management Process for a Diverse Leadership Team.  It’s an excellent review of the factors that promote diversity at the very top of leading organizations—executive directors and board members.

A total of 47 companies participated in the survey—mostly US multinationals and some of Europe’s largest employers.  When leaders were asked what barriers women face when they seek leadership roles, the top three were listed as:  [1] Exclusion from informal networks, [2] A leadership style perceived to be different from the one dominant among current leaders, and [3] A lack of visibility to senior leaders.

Let’s take these one at a time. Today’s blog post will focus on what to do if you think you are being excluded from your colleague’s informal networks.

A classic example of being excluded from informal networks is not getting invited to play that round of golf on a Saturday morning or to have cocktails Friday evening after work. Despite the appearance that you’re simply missing happy hour or a sports outing among colleagues, you can be sure business gets discussed and decisions are being made without you.

At the very least, your colleagues are building a strong rapport among themselves that will serve their needs and you are not part of that effort.  Not a big deal, you say?  Wrong.

These informal gatherings or the network among fraternity brothers, sorority sisters, or business school alumni can be quite powerful.  These networks spell opportunity.  If you find yourself in this situation or suspect that you are, act swiftly and decisively.

There are basically three options: The toughest step to take is to confront your immediate boss to suggest that you need to be included in key discussions—formally and informally on projects that your team manages.  This is not asking to be invited to play golf. This is about letting your boss know that excluding you from key discussions is unacceptable.

I would start, however, by extending your boss the benefit of the doubt by saying: “I’m not sure you realize this, but it appears we made a decision about this new software at the golf game on Saturday and I didn’t have a chance to make a contribution until Monday. I wonder if you see that as a good use of my expertise?”

The second option is to indeed request to be invited to join in the round of golf.  Do not do this however, if you truly cannot play at the level that your colleagues suggest they play.  The potential for greater embarrassment is just too great.

Instead suggest something that’s doable for the group: “Hey folks, I know that you usually play Golf on Saturdays, I’d like to meet you at the club for brunch so we can talk about key projects.  I’d like to make sure I join in the discussion and offer my perspective.”

Be prepared to walk through the course with the group even if you don’t play golf as they may want to insist on continuing the conversation on the course.  This puts your colleagues on notice, but shows you can compromise and yet allows them to remain true to their plans and integrate you into those plans.

The last option is to suggest a different informal gathering that you can manage or host or both.  It may be as simple as: “I know that there was a golf game scheduled for this Saturday and it looks like this is a key time for informal dialogue on the software project. I would like to be included in the discussion and I wonder if we could schedule a different venue for this so that I can participate? I’m happy to make reservations for dinner at the club.”

If you are genuinely interested in an alternative sport or event, you may suggest a different activity.  But be mindful you want to be able to conduct business.  While you may personally enjoy watching hoops, it may be hard to have a conversation at the arena during the game.  Choose something that lets you get down to business and puts you in a favorable light.  There’s no easy way to get invited to “play” but you don’t need to accept the situation without letting your colleagues know you wish to have your say.

Do you have a different idea on how to handle this or have you experienced this situation, write me share ideas with others at Avisos y Avances !  You can also visit my Coaching Notebook for other career tips.

Until next time—

To Your Continued Success,

María Hernández, PhD

Knowing Yourself: Asking the Tough Questions

This month has been a time for me to reflect, journal on where I’m at and where I’m going, as well as getting serious about what it will take to meet my own personal goals.

And sometimes, that means asking myself the tough questions. Questions like: What have I let get in my way of achieving certain goals? What are my fears? What do I need to heal to be able to move forward? And if I haven’t yet done so, why?

I’ve been taking this self-study seriously, and it coincides nicely with our theme of the month. I have to be honest and say that at times during this process, I’ve felt some regret, some sadness, and some grief. I’m mourning some of the past, and at times get discouraged about the future.

[Of course, my melancholy could have to do with the cold, wet weather that we're not used to having here in what is supposed to be Sunny Southern California, but for now, I'll assume I'm getting to some deep stuff...]

At the same time that I know I need to “get real” with myself, I also know that when I come out the other side, I’ll be a lot lighter, a lot happier, a lot more focused and much more energized. And yet… going through the hard questions can be difficult.

Getting to know oneself intimately can be a tough journey. Inevitably (unless we’re saints — and maybe not even then!), we find things about ourselves that are not particularly positive. I’ve certainly done things for which I am not proud. I’ve stayed in unhealthy relationships for too long, refused to give up unhealthy habits, and failed to stay focused on my goals.

On the other side of the coin, I’ve also done things for which I am immensely proud, things which I look back upon with joy and gratitude, and things that have been just plain crazy and FUN!

So I would encourage you, in this month of self-reflection and introspection to ask yourself who you really are. What drives you? What moves you? What are your strengths and what are things you’d like to work on, either to change or to re-direct?

The questions can be difficult — especially if we’re deeply honest with ourselves — and at the same time, in telling ourselves the “truth” we have to own up to the wonder that we are, too! I know each of you are incredible women. You each have your own stories and your own celebrations.

So as you gaze within, look for the hidden, the scary, and yes, the beautiful. And I hope I’ll see you on the “other side” glowing with relief and peace. Because, guess what? Whatever our past is…it’s the PAST! And because we get to create the future, this makes it MUCH more hopeful.

But UNTIL we’re able to be open and honest with ourselves, we often do the same things over and over. So let’s do the hard work, and then celebrate the women we are and move forward with confidence!

Review of Themes from 2009 (Part I)

Over the course of 2009, I wanted to give us all some focus around the lessons we were learning and the women we spoke with, as well as the ideas we would focus on to discuss and consider.  Additionally, the contributors to the site centered their contributions around the themes, as well.

I would encourage you to go back and review the book recommendations in Marcela’s Book Picks, as well as Sister Outsider Entertainment’s Flick Picks to see how they dovetail with the themes!  Also, you might want to click through a review of the women interviewed in 2009, in case some stories catch your interest.  Click here to see the list of prior Powerful Latina interviewees.

So that you can look at all the themes in one place, here they are in order:

In January, the theme was La Niña (the child).  We discussed innocence, curiosity, openness and wonder.  It was a time for us to reflect on how we bring the child-like qualities into our everyday lives, or how our wounded child might be causing us to (re)act in fear or other limiting ways.  We had Powerful Latina interviewees that work with youth, and those that were fearless young women themselves!

In February, the theme was La Coqueta/La Seductora (the flirt/seductress).  We discussed the stereotypical images of Latinas as “hot and fiery women” and then played with ideas of sensuality and sexuality and how Latinas are taught to approach these ideas, and what we can do to change these ideas, if we want to.  We talked with a Latina sex educator, a Latina who owns a “sexy shop,” and a Latina who writes erotica, among others.

In March, the theme was La Exploradora (the explorer), and I interviewed five Latinas in the sciences.  We talked about exploration and moving beyond our comfort zones.  It was fun to learn about different careers in the sciences, as well as talk about science in our everyday lives, and how we learn and talk about the sciences.

In April, the theme was La Chismosa (the gossip), and we talked about how our stories of others can hurt them, and ourselves.  We also discussed that sometimes the stories we tell about others can be supportive and uplifting (if done with the right intentions and energy).  We also talked about how we share information about others (with or without their permission) and what this means in our communities of women.  I interviewed some very interesting Latinas in the media this month.

In May, the theme was La Guerrillera (the warrior).  We interviewed women who had had struggles in their lives and were true women warriors.  In addition, we discussed how we have to do “battle” in our own lives, and how we choose our battles.  Do we fight only when necessary or are we too quick to draw our swords?

In June, the theme was La Madre (the mother).  In Latino cultures, the mother is venerated, honored and respected.  We talked about how a mother can be of such importance, but how sometimes the label of a “bad mother” can be the worst of all!  How do we view, interact with and BE mothers?

You may want to take time now to reflect a bit about your own answers to the questions we posed, and what you lessons you’ve learned over the past year.

Latina Leadership Lessons: When We Wear Masks

As a conclusion to October’s theme of La Bruja, and this past weekend’s celebration of both Halloween and Dia de los Muertos, I wanted to comment a bit on how and when we as Latinas wear masks.

Although playful and fun when at a costume party (and who doesn’t enjoy dressing up and playing make-believe from time to time?), we often wear masks in our daily lives to keep others from getting too close, from seeing each of us for who we truly are.

Many days we rush around so busy, working to get all the tasks done that must be accomplished in our lives, and fail to stay aligned with our true purpose, and our calling of why we’re here, and instead of doing what really matters, we get caught up in the pequeñesas (little stuff).

Over the past month, I’ve been encouraging you to step into your power, to recognize and honor the magic that is in you, and to celebrate the sparks you give to and receive from others in your world.

What are the masks we wear and why?

You probably know the mask of the “queen” — the mask that tells everyone that you have it all under control and no one can knock you off your game. While this can be a mask of power, it can also be a mask of fear — especially when it keeps us from asking for help or from sharing our burdens with others.

Another typical Latina “mask” is the mask of the martyr. Ay ay ay, I do everything for everyone else and am not appreciated! This mask is usually paired with manipulation that is wielded through the tool of guilt. It again can be a mask of pain, when we lack the ability to communicate our deep needs without demanding that others capitulate to our demands, and also the characteristic of irresponsibility when we fail to take care of ourselves and our own needs (claiming that someone else must do something for us).

Yet another mask is the mask of the victim — the wounded one, when we use our pain once again as an excuse to fail to take action. If we don’t work on healing ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to do it for us?

Quitate la máscara, mujer, and be the Powerful Latina that you are!

Part of my calling is to help us, as Latinas, to share courage, strength and wisdom through our stories. Our interviewees have been candid, and shown their own vulnerability, by opening up and telling us about the masks they’ve worn in their own lives and what they do (or have done) to take them off and be more authentic. Have you reflected lately on your own story? I know you have a unique and special one, too.

I know that I have my own masks that I put on to keep myself “safe” and sometimes even to deceive myself! It is a daily practice to figure out where I’m sending my energy and to make sure that I’ve got my priorities straight so that I can do what I really need and want to do… (and I’m constantly challenged, I’ll tell you that!)

Over the next couple of months, I’ll be unveiling a program to help we Latinas stay *grounded* in our power by reminding us of the truths we know deep inside us, and have been shared with us by our interviewees. I’ll be re-framing some of these stories we’ve heard, crystalizing the lessons for each of us to help them stay at the forefront of our minds and hearts, even as we each live the busy lives that we have.

What are your masks? Why do you wear them, and how do they keep you from being who you really want to be? How do they keep you OUT of your personal power? If I’m any indication, the masks can be subtle and tricky, and change as we heal one area of our lives and shift to work on another. It’s important to have the self knowledge of where we come from, where we’ve been, and where we are now, to be able to better direct where we’re going.

Let’s work on it together!