Theme of the Month: Learning is Key

For the month of January, we explored the theme of Know Yourself.  This is a core concept and foundational to the message behind Powerful Latinas. If we don’t create who we are, we allow others to manipulate those definitions. I saw a wonderful quote this past week, as follows:

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself. ” –Harvey Fierstein

For the month of February, we talked about Following Your Passion. What do we do that moves us, inspires us, and allows us to be more than what we currently are? [Speaking of which, if you haven't already taken the Passion Survey, please do so. Take the Passion Survey here!]

For the month of March, we’ll be exploring the concept that Learning is Key. This month, we’ll be talking about different kinds of learning, what we use to keep ourselves learning, and how we
*implement* learning into our daily practice.

Do you learn through reading books, observing those around you, trying new things, taking classes, or in a multitude of other ways? When we learn, we expand our minds (literally!). We create new pathways in our brains and learning actually keeps our minds young.

For Latinas, as our culture evolves and changes, we are constantly learning more about what it means to move as Latinos in our culture.

For me, I love to see the statistics of how we are creating new journeys to power within our communities, as well as what we need to work on. When I see these statistics, for me it is a “snapshot” of where we are right now, and a marker for where we still need to go.

At the same time, I learn about how people view these statistics, and use them to make meaning about who we are as a group — and what a varied group we are…

I also love to read books, take classes, and try new things. For me, I’m very much an experiential learner, but am always putting new bits of information into my head.

Our Powerful Latina interviewees spoke with us about how they, too, are always pushing themselves to the next level, which means learning new skills. These new skills may be workplace skills — such as communication, leadership, or delegation — or skills they implement into other parts of their lives — such as leading a volunteer organization, or becoming a better parent.

It jumped out at me when I was interviewing the women that they each make continual learning a part of their lives, and, in whatever way they choose to implement it, ensure they are not stagnant.

How do YOU learn? What do you like to learn, and what is a bit tough for you? Do you go into each day with the same expectations, or are you prepared to be surprised and see new things?

Learning can be in traditional settings (such as getting a graduate degree, or a certificate), or it can be in non-traditional settings (such as having an enlightening conversation with your abuela).

Whatever it may be, we’ll be discussing learning in its forms this month, and hear from women how they put it into practice!

Keep Your Passion in Your Sights

We’re getting to know ourselves very well, and figuring out what moves us, motivates us and allows us to unleash our passion. This can be fun and exciting, and at times it can also feel like a lot of work!

How do we stay focused, motivated, and relaxed throughout it all?

Whenever we’re doing hard physical, mental or emotional work we need time to recharge, refresh and relax. And it may take time to figure out what is really going to give us energy and not drain us more.

I’ll give you some examples from my own life, as well as things that our Powerful Latina interviewees have suggested. One of my ways to “relax” is watching movies.

Sometimes this can be refreshing and energizing, and at other times the mood created by the movie throws me off my game. The trick is to find activities or actions that fill up the part of your tank you need to refill…

Another example is hanging out with friends. I love spending time with my girls, and yet at times, I just want to sit in the silence and meditate. What it takes to refresh you can vary depending on what is tiring you out, and what you need at the moment.

Sometimes a night out with my girlfriends fits the bill perfectly, and sometimes I need to simply be alone.

Powerful Latina interviewee Maria Rita Jaramillo, Senior Liaison, Community Outreach, Office of Governance and Policy, for the National Education Association (NEA), said she keeps an “atta-girl” scrapbook. So when she needs some motivation or inspiration she looks back at this scrapbook of nice notes she’s been sent, pictures that make her happy, or copies of awards she’s been given. What do YOU have in your house that you could compile to bring you joy and renewal when you need it? Put it in a scrapbook, or compile it in a drawer or shoe box. I have letters my son has written me over the years that never fail to touch me and make me cry (with tears of joy!).

Other interviewees spoke of taking time out to exercise, listen to music, get feedback from friends, or learn a new skill. Find whatever it is that *you* need at various times and then keep that list with you. I also, for example, have put together a CD of positive songs that I can listen to if I need some motivation or inspiration or simply a reminder of why my passion is so important.

Once we’re renewed, we can come back to our passions with vigor! It’s crucial to keep ourselves focused on the truly important things. For me, at least, it can be so easy to slip into the everyday and “forget” to self-reflect, to stay focused on my passions, and to use the tools I have at my disposal to have the best life ever.

In order to keep this focus, each of us needs to find what works for us — what activities, items, and practices can you put in place in your life — to make sure you can also stay focused on what’s important to you!

[If you haven't yet read Friday's article on passions we find outside of our careers, this is another idea of ways we can renew and refresh. Take a look at it here...]

Finding Your Passion (outside of your career)

We’ve been talking all month about the idea of “Finding Your Passion.”

And while I agree that you want to spend the majority of your time doing something that moves you, engages you, and is using your talents to their fullest purpose… Sometimes, it’s all about FUN!

Do you remember what you used to do as a little girl? For me, I loved to run down to the park (half a block away) and sit under the trees, swing in a swing or just “run around.” I loved to be active, connect with nature, and pretend.

I also loved to *dance*! Dancing, for me, has been a lifelong passion. I used to think it was what I wanted to do as a career.

However, I’ve been blessed to find out that it does not have to be my job, and I can still get an immense amount of enjoyment out of dancing.

I have taken dance classes, participated in dance concerts, gone out salsa dancing, and lately, even taken part in competitive ballroom dancing.

It’s clear to me that dancing is a part of my “ser” — a part of my being, and who I am.

And yet… I can get the needs I have met by just making sure I get out and move my bootie every once in a while. :) I have a dance “studio” set up in my garage, and I can dance there if nothing else. I can practice my arm placement, stretch my legs, and do spins, even if I’m all by myself.

What is that thing that moves you? Is it singing, writing, speaking with others, hiking, pretending or doing crafts? Is it traveling, learning new languages, reading a book of poetry, playing with your dog, drawing a picture, or teaching yoga?

Whatever it is that you love — make sure that you do it with some frequency! We often forget that what motivates us, and keeps us refreshed and resilient is simply listening to our spirit. And our spirit is very clear about what it needs and what it wants — because it’s what we love to do…

Finding your passion doesn’t have to be difficult or a long process.

It can be as simple as cooking a good meal for those you love, watching a funny movie, or spending some time shopping with a good girlfriend.

We all have things we want to do in our careers and professional lives, and at the same time, let’s not forget about what we do for pure pleasure.

Take some time to enjoy, mujer, and do that for you — and for those around you.

Wouldn’t we all be better off if we made sure that we fed our souls on at least a weekly basis? Find your passions, and go for it!

As Latinas, we tend to be so creative, so active, so talented — let’s get out there and show ‘em what we’re made of!!!

LIVING OUR LIVES WITH PASSION: PURSUING OUR DREAMS ENTHUSIASTICALLY

Thanks to commercialized media, the word “passion” has sometimes taken on narrow definitions with connotations that are not always appropriate in polite company, or—thanks to Mel Gibson’s movie, “The Passion of Christ”—evoke intense religious emotions.

One of my favorite meanings of the word is “boundless enthusiasm,” the third most frequently used sense of the term, according to Webster.  Enthusiasm is vibrant, contagious, practical, influential, idealistic, enhancing the lives and persons of a spectrum of people, from rich and famous, to ordinary or obscure.

Enthusiasm resides, or can reside, in each of us…and it can make an immense difference in the quality of our lives.

Who Has “Passion”?

It’s all around us, in places you’d least expect to see “boundless enthusiasm.” But when you see it—especially when you see it in persons whose lives are challenging, persons who struggle each day to make a living, persons who might feel sometimes that life is unfair—enthusiasm is especially remarkable.

The Jennifer Lopez’s and Mariah Carey’s of the world are admirable for their enthusiasm and passion for their work (and may this passion continue unabated!), but passion may require a bit more commitment when it’s rooted in the stony soil of hardship.

Latina Pioneer with Passion to Spare!

A historic example of a famous Latina living with passion is Eulalia Perez de Guillen de Mariné, who flourished in the late 1800’s and was one of the most famous Southern California pioneers and one of the few influential non-aristocratic women of her time.

Her story and photo are included in a local author’s, Roberta Martinez, engrossing book titled Latinos in Pasadena (my hometown).

According to Roberta, Eulalia was born in Mexico, came to San Diego as a soldier’s wife, gave birth to 12 children, was an accomplished dancer, was “literate, was a midwife, and was devoted to church and family.”

As a widow, she carried on her life of service and was entrusted as the “keeper of keys” at the San Gabriel Mission, where—“capable, clever, and disciplined”—she basically ran the mission, overseeing all matters not handled by the priests or the military.

As a testament to her passion for accomplishments and service to others, she was given 14,000 acres of “desecularized” mission land, called Rancho San Pascual, on which now sit the beautiful cities of Pasadena, Sierra Madre, South Pasadena, San Marino, and LaCanada, all in Los Angeles County.

A Mexican immigrant who helped carve our California history! That was Eulalia, a woman few people have even heard of but who touched the lives of many.

How Do We  Show Passion for Living?

When you’re engaged in activities that fill you with joy, peace, love, satisfaction, pride, or any other heart-stirring emotion, you’re probably doing those activities with passion. It can be:

• a quiet passion, such as that of Mother Theresa in ministering to the poor, starving lepers of India.

• a stirring passion, such as that of Frida Kahlo, the colorful Mexican artist.

• a life-endangering passion, such as that of race-car driver Danika Patrick.

Or it can be something in between: not in the public spotlight, not bringing us fame, Nobel Prizes, trophies, or fortunes.

The fortunes are the inner rewards we feel in doing our work with enthusiasm, knowing that, undoubtedly, somebody will benefit from our labors.

• Noemi, a young public school math teacher, is devoted to her high-risk teens, pushing them to be successful, serving on committees to improve education for disadvantaged kids. She has three young children of her own and has just earned a Master’s degree studying part-time. This Latina has passion!

• Maria, a volunteer community activist in her 60’s, serves on two city commissions, a number of nonprofit organization boards, and speaks out in her soft, calm voice against discrimination of any type. She advocates for youth of all colors and is not afraid to ruffle feathers by doing so. This Latina has passion!

• Cristina, a native of Mexico who married an American Latino 20 years ago, didn’t speak English and had never lived in the U.S. She now lives in Texas, is fully literate in English, earned a degree in Culinary Arts, freelances by making the most gorgeous, creative cakes and shrimp paellas, and runs an occasional excursion business, taking her American friends in chartered buses to charming towns in Mexico and feeding them gourmet sandwiches along the way. This Latina has passion!

Live Your Life with Passion!

Go ahead. Find what you love, what makes you feel complete and energized.

• Is it volunteering and helping others?
• Do you need to go back to school to brush up on skills, or learn new ones?
• Do you need to marshal your friends or family around you?
• Can you do this labor of love from home, as things are now; or do you need to find other ways, other places to do it?

Whatever you need to do, start doing it as soon as you can.

When we live life with passion, it’s a happier life, not only for us, but for those who benefit from our passion. Since we all know life is too short… get going!

Tie Me Up. Tie Me Down this Valentine’s Day! Find Your Passion & Release the Dominatrix

A spicy dinner, red balloons, roses, sexy music and chocolate-covered strawberries, love is definitely in air. February is the month where the cherubic winged-little person works overtime… and so do the chocolate factories.

The day is February 14 (or Dia de los Novios) and on this day Latinos are expressing their love for each other. It is also a time when many couples will try something new in the bedroom, indulging in some type of fantasy.

Many people, including Latinos, have fantasies involving role-playing, fetishes and bondage. Growing up in Hispanic, our culture has traditional roles of men being dominant and women being submissive. Why not pull a switch-a-roo and have the ladies be dominant.

BDSM (Bondage. Discipline. Sadism. Masochism) is a form of consensual role play between two or more individuals, who use their experiences of pain and power to create sexual tension, pleasure, and release.  It’s a great way to build a strong sexual foundation and a interpersonal relationship between you and your Latin lover.

As the song by the Divinyl’s goes,”It’s a fine line between pleasure and pain…you’ve done it once, you will do it again…”

An important thing to remember is that BDSM is NOT a crime. The fundamental principles of this practice require that it be performed by mature and responsible partners, of their own volition, and in a safe way.

This mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence.

Plus, it is always possible for one of the consenting partners to withdraw his or her consent at any time by using a “safe word” that was agreed upon in advance.

With that said, there are many ways Latinas can participate in safe, fun and very erotic BDSM adventures. You may remember the boy in the corner who purposely forgets his homework simply so the teacher will teach him a lesson, and remember that bossy girl who makes fun of the weak kids. These folks could easily grow into the kinkiest and erotically in-tune adults, and maybe one day find each other.

Once you figure out the roles, start small. Maybe one of you has some specific requests, a foot fetish or blindfolds perhaps? Someone with a foot fetish would prefer sexy shoes or boots, or someone who likes to be blindfolded may require a selection of soft eye covers.

Want to try some bondage? Then get some sexy restraints. You can get wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs that can be used to hold your partner to a chair, post, the bed etc. You can also try some silky bondage rope. Get a book on different rope tying techniques and then practice tying each other up and having your way with them.

Role-playing is another way to explore your BDSM side. Be the sexy Catholic school girl, the naughty nurse or sassy secretary and let your “Don Juan” transform into the horny fireman or police officer. The sailor and the prostitute is also a great role-playing fantasy.

Keep trying new things and explore each other and remember – have fun! Feliz Dia de los Novios.

Find Your Passion in Health, Physical Fitness & Life

“You must never stand still. You’re either moving upward a little bit or you’re going the other way. You can’t expect to go upward too quickly, but you can sure go down very quickly.” -Wooden

Finding your passion and then fueling your passion is a lifelong process. I have found the best way I find my passion is when I’m in nature and get totally absorbed in the process of thinking about what I love to do.

While doing something that excites you and fuels your spirit, examine this as maybe being a passion of yours or related to what may develop your passion. I recently went snowboarding and learned some lessons on fueling my passion.

While snowboarding in Mammoth, I went down the hill very quickly, and out of fear would just fall down to stop myself. Everything that we do in life we can learn a lot from. It can teach us about other areas of our life.

In learning snowboarding for the first time, I spent a lot of time on my butt looking at the beautiful scenery and reflecting on what I was learning from the experience. The lessons I learned are related to any life goal, training goal, or passion. These are the lessons I learned from snowboarding:

1-    Friends: If you’re going to fall and make a fool of yourself, it’s best to do it with friends and loved ones around so they can cheer you on and help you up. It’s also nice when they are falling too.

2-    Perserverance: It’s not about how many times you fall, but how often you get back up.

3-    Energy: It takes up so much more energy to do it wrong and fight it than to do it right and let it be.

4-   Fear: Fear tightens up the muscles, freezes the brain, and makes it so much harder to perform.

5-    Awareness and Experience: You really have to experience what it feels like in your body to perform it correctly. People can explain technique, but not until you really feel it in your body do you understand what they are talking about.

6-    Flow & Confidence: Once I let it flow and became more confident, the experience went smoother and I made it down the mountain without falling on my butt. I kept repeating, “I got this!”

7-    Be Coachable: I had to ask for help. I had a great teacher in my friend, Yen. She broke it down one step at a time and focused on what I was doing right. She built on my successes. She was unselfish in helping us all down the hill. A true coach helps others to succeed with patience.

8-   Mistakes: Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, that’s where the true learning comes. I made a lot of mistakes, but from every one I learned a better way to perform a task or what not do next time.

9-   Repetitions: Repetition is the key to improvement. Every time I fell down, it was easier to get up. And every time I succeeded on going down the hill, I went further the next time. One does not perfect a skill instantly; Repetition is the key to natural enfoldment. If I didn’t run out of time, I might be an expert! HAHA

10- Breathe: After a good success or after trying really hard, I would fall down and sit. Instead of getting up again and forcing another fall, I knew I had to Rest, Recover, and Breathe.  After a short break and reflection on what I needed to do next, I would try again. So if you’re trying to force something and it’s just frustrating you or not working out….Rest, Recover, Breathe, and then Try Again.

Follow these guidelines when finding your passion and remember it’s a lifelong process.