Latina Leadership Lessons: When We Wear Masks

As a conclusion to October’s theme of La Bruja, and this past weekend’s celebration of both Halloween and Dia de los Muertos, I wanted to comment a bit on how and when we as Latinas wear masks.

Although playful and fun when at a costume party (and who doesn’t enjoy dressing up and playing make-believe from time to time?), we often wear masks in our daily lives to keep others from getting too close, from seeing each of us for who we truly are.

Many days we rush around so busy, working to get all the tasks done that must be accomplished in our lives, and fail to stay aligned with our true purpose, and our calling of why we’re here, and instead of doing what really matters, we get caught up in the pequeñesas (little stuff).

Over the past month, I’ve been encouraging you to step into your power, to recognize and honor the magic that is in you, and to celebrate the sparks you give to and receive from others in your world.

What are the masks we wear and why?

You probably know the mask of the “queen” — the mask that tells everyone that you have it all under control and no one can knock you off your game. While this can be a mask of power, it can also be a mask of fear — especially when it keeps us from asking for help or from sharing our burdens with others.

Another typical Latina “mask” is the mask of the martyr. Ay ay ay, I do everything for everyone else and am not appreciated! This mask is usually paired with manipulation that is wielded through the tool of guilt. It again can be a mask of pain, when we lack the ability to communicate our deep needs without demanding that others capitulate to our demands, and also the characteristic of irresponsibility when we fail to take care of ourselves and our own needs (claiming that someone else must do something for us).

Yet another mask is the mask of the victim — the wounded one, when we use our pain once again as an excuse to fail to take action. If we don’t work on healing ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to do it for us?

Quitate la máscara, mujer, and be the Powerful Latina that you are!

Part of my calling is to help us, as Latinas, to share courage, strength and wisdom through our stories. Our interviewees have been candid, and shown their own vulnerability, by opening up and telling us about the masks they’ve worn in their own lives and what they do (or have done) to take them off and be more authentic. Have you reflected lately on your own story? I know you have a unique and special one, too.

I know that I have my own masks that I put on to keep myself “safe” and sometimes even to deceive myself! It is a daily practice to figure out where I’m sending my energy and to make sure that I’ve got my priorities straight so that I can do what I really need and want to do… (and I’m constantly challenged, I’ll tell you that!)

Over the next couple of months, I’ll be unveiling a program to help we Latinas stay *grounded* in our power by reminding us of the truths we know deep inside us, and have been shared with us by our interviewees. I’ll be re-framing some of these stories we’ve heard, crystalizing the lessons for each of us to help them stay at the forefront of our minds and hearts, even as we each live the busy lives that we have.

What are your masks? Why do you wear them, and how do they keep you from being who you really want to be? How do they keep you OUT of your personal power? If I’m any indication, the masks can be subtle and tricky, and change as we heal one area of our lives and shift to work on another. It’s important to have the self knowledge of where we come from, where we’ve been, and where we are now, to be able to better direct where we’re going.

Let’s work on it together!

History of Dia de los Muertos

I was at a Halloween Read In this past Friday, an event that I’ve supported for several years now, at a local elementary school in one of the more economically challenged areas of San Diego. In this bilingual classroom we had the opportunity to chat a little bit about Dia de los Muertos and I got to hear how some of the children celebrate the holiday with their families.

For a quick brush up, let me share with you a bit of the history of the holiday. I especially enjoy Dia de los Muertos because it gives us a chance to remember those that have gone before us, and honor their memories in a warm way. We recollect the items our loved ones enjoyed, a bit about their unique characters, and hopefully also express our gratitude at what they brought into our lives.

According to Wikipedia, Dia de los Muertos: is a holiday celebrated in Mexico and by Latin Americans living in the United States and Canada. The holiday focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died.

The celebration occurs on November 1st and 2nd in connection with the Catholic holiday of All Saints’ Day which occurs on November 1st and All Souls’ Day which occurs on November 2nd. Traditions include building private altars honoring the deceased, using sugar skulls, marigolds, and the favorite foods and beverages of the departed, and visiting graves with these as gifts.

The Day of the Dead celebrations in Mexico can be traced back to the indigenous celebrations. Rituals celebrating the deaths of ancestors have been observed by these civilizations perhaps for as long as 3000 years.

The festival that became the modern Day of the Dead fell in the ninth month of the Aztec calendar, about the beginning of August, and was celebrated for an entire month. The festivities were dedicated to the goddess Mictecacihuatl, known as the “Lady of the Dead,” corresponding to the modern Catrina.

In most regions of Mexico, November 1 honors children and infants, whereas deceased adults are honored on November 2. This is indicated by generally referring to November 1 mainly as “Día de los Inocentes” (Day of the Innocents) but also as “Día de los Angelitos” (Day of the Little Angels) and November 2 as “Día de los Muertos.”

Many people believe that during the Day of the Dead, it is easier for the souls of the departed to visit the living. People go to cemeteries to communicate with the souls of the departed, and build private altars, containing the favorite foods and beverages, as well as photos and memorabilia, of the departed. The intent is to encourage visits by the souls, so that the souls will hear the prayers and the comments of the living directed to them.

Celebrations can take a humorous tone, as celebrants remember funny events and anecdotes about the departed.

Plans for the day are made throughout the year. During the two-day period, families usually clean and decorate graves; most visit the cemeteries where their loved ones are buried and decorate their graves with ofrendas.

Who in your life has passed on that you remember fondly?Do you take time to re-connect with their memory, and honor the gifts they’ve given to you? Whatever ritual or practice you engage in, I hope that this time can be one of joyful celebration (even as we acknowledge the loss of no longer having them physically present).