There Are SO Many Factors -- Don't Take It Personally
We all live in a busy world. We have to pick up the kids from school, get a report done for the boss, check in on our committee work, go to church, buy groceries, and maybe even do our own homework. All this in addition to making dinner, doing laundry, having 'date night' and trying to work out!
With everything going on in EACH of our lives, is it any wonder that sometimes we just snap? I will admit -- at times I have spoken harshly to my son...just because I was tired. I have started to cry...because my car broke down and I didn't know how I was going to afford to get it fixed. I have felt ready to burst...when someone asked me to do "just one little thing" -- piled on top of so many other "little things" -- at work.
We are all, in a sense, overwhelmed from time to time (or maybe, all the time!) by the worlds that each of us live in.
Given that we know this for US -- why is it that when someone speaks harshly to us, or looks at us funny in a meeting, or forgets to call on our birthday, we don't automatically think, "hey, they've got a lot going on in their lives, too! Let me give them a break and not assume they're doing this to hurt me."
Yet as Latinas, we are often so connected, so close, to many, many people in our circle. We may have a "best friend" at work, girls we grew up with, friends from church and the community center, email buddies, and of course our significant other, and family members.
Each of us are closely tied, and yet we are also each dealing with our own dramas every day. Que rollo!
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When someone cuts you off on the freeway, or a 'customer service'
person on the telephone is less than polite, or someone is rude to you in a public place, you may roll your eyes, or think, "what's up with
them?" or even give them some lip, but do you let it throw your day?
Certainly they didn't set out this morning to get YOU...
Likewise, are we patient with our tias, our comadres, our primas y los demas?
Back up, take a deep breath (don't you hate it when people tell you that?), and consider -- maybe, just maybe, everyone is going through *just as much* as you are, and sometimes...only sometimes...they may inadvertently take it out on you.
What would the world look like if we could be kind, caring and tender with everyone in our world? If we could assume that perhaps, the cop who just gave us a $400 ticket is worried about his ailing mother that he supports and wants to make sure he has his job? What if we assumed that the person who just cut us off on the freeway is rushing to their child's school to take care of an important problem?
What if we assume that your lover was distant because he or she just had a really bad day at work, and is not yet ready to talk about it?
Let's ALL realize (this is a reminder to me, too!) that when we understand that people do things because there is a lot going on, then we could live in a lot more peace, a lot more harmony, and a lot more cooperation.
Hasta entonces...
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Reyna Grande, author of Across a Hundred Mountains & Dancing with Butterflies will be at the Corona Public Library