Life Is Not Cured, It’s Managed
By Contributing Blogger Adrienne Terrazas Hull
[Note from Aurelia: As we work to Gather Support Around Us, we need to remember that our own attitude, as well as that of our "cheerleading team" can make a huge difference! Take a moment to reflect on these words of wisdom from our new contributing blogger!]
Those words, attributed to Dr. Phil McGraw, are becoming quite well known, and much appreciated.
As times get tougher, economically, emotionally, oftentimes spilling over into physically, people become much harder, not only on others, but especially on themselves. Blaming themselves for things that, if they truly looked at them objectively, they have no control over.
More than once over the past few years I’ve been hit with a tri-fecta of tragedies. In June of 2007, I separated from my husband, in October of that year I experienced a 100% loss of my personal possessions due to the Witch Creek fires and in November was fired from a job for the first time ever in my life because I was distracted at work and a couple of things “fell through the cracks”.
The way that I got past all of these things was to not even attempt to deal with all of them at once. I took one bite out of the apple at a time.
A couple of months ago, once again a few things hit at once…I received word from my CPA that I owed an astronomical amount in taxes, I experienced an allergic reaction that caused my face to swell and turn red just before a “very important date” and I received word from my mother that she had received a distress call from my youngest sister in another state and then been cut off and had no way to contact her.
I went on the date, joked with the gentleman about the state of my face (which he very kindly refused to acknowledge) and mentioned that I had had a difficult 24 hours due to all of the above. He remarked that I seemed in very high spirits for someone who had all this on them.
I used the above phrase….life is not cured, it’s managed….and explained that, on Monday morning I would go to the dermatologist to get something to relieve the inflammation of my face, on Monday evening I would call the WalMart where I’d last known my little sister to be working nights, and on Tuesday I would talk to my CPA about what my choices were with regard to my IRS debt (which thankfully turned out to be an accounting error).
One bite at a time. 
| |
I’m happy to say, that all were resolved very quickly. Due in huge part, I believe, to the fact that I refused to look at them as a mountain of issues, but instead a bunch of rocks.
These examples are set forth not to make me out to be some sort of hero, nor to indicate that my problems are huge…in comparison to so many people that I know, all of the above are miniscule.
They are set forth to show that if we can break it down, if we can compartmentalize and realize that, in reality, we can only deal with one thing at a time, we can feel the joy that exists between the issues, problems, sorrows...however we wish to term them…that all humans deal with.
I found the following list online regarding this subject and want to share it here. Enjoy, and see which ones of them you are doing, and which ones you might need to work on.
Life is managed. It is not cured.
You, as your life manager, should be:
• keeping you safe from taking foolish risks
• putting you in situations where you can utilize all of your skills and abilities
• creating opportunities for you to get what you really want out of life
• taking care of your health & well-being, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually
• selecting and pursuing relationships in which you can be healthy and flourish
• requiring you to reach and stretch for those things that will keep you fresh, young and alive
• designing your day-to-day flow so that you enjoy some peace and tranquility
• arranging for some fun and recreation in your life
• structuring your world so that there is balance among those things you consider to be important
• accepting, acknowledging & applying to you personally the 10 life laws
• committing to resolve rather than endure your personal problems
• attempt to answer those 'what if' questions rather than leave them unanswered and let them gnaw at you
• refuse to live with unfinished emotional business
• identifying when you are hurting, angry, frustrated, or confused & call time out to deal with it.
• honor your agreements, whether they are with yourself or with others, especially your children and spouse. |
This week I'll be presenting the third in the three part series of my webinars for NHLI. On Thursday I'll be presenting on Leading with People -- People Centered Leadership.
As we've been talking about Gathering Support Around Us, I've been telling you about the different national Latina organizations, many of which have local chapters in YOUR area.