Do You Value Yourself?

How many times do you think about your value? Maybe when you are in search of a mate, when you want to ask for a salary increase, or when you are getting a job offer.

There is no secret that women in general have a problem when it comes to valuing ourselves. The root of this is socialization, the way we were raised, and the way we perceive ourselves.

Another factor is our relationship with money. If we have a negative relationship with money, there is no doubt that our value, when it comes to charging for our services, will be low.

I went to a women’s conference and I chose to attend the seminar on negotiation. The statistics are astonishing about how much money women leave at the table when we have to negotiate.

The speaker, a woman professor from Stanford University showed us some numbers that clearly demonstrate that the lack of confidence in women in the area of negotiation is costing us. If we fail to negotiate in our first job, by age 60 that will cost us about $500,000, money that would be really helpful for retirement.

Many women are more concerned about being nice than asking for what they really want. The problem with this is that when we get less that what we want, but are afraid to ask, we encounter a feeling of resentment and then we are trapped. We start hating a job that could have been fulfilling.

This happened to me when I first came to the bay area. I wanted to get a job in my field and when they offered me a low salary I took it because I couldn’t see myself working in something else.

I accepted the job thinking that soon I could demonstrate my abilities and get a raise. That never happened, my resentment grew and I wasn’t happy anymore.

I was clueless about negotiating and when I read about it I felt I could not do that. It was not until I changed my relationship with money and I owned my talents, gifts and abilities that I was able to put a value on my services without feeling guilty.

I came to understand that being nice also includes standing on my own two feet and asking for what I really want.

If you don’t know anything about negotiation there are several books on the market for women. Buy one or go to the library and start your journey to further empower yourself.

Remember that others value us in the same way we value ourselves. Do not forget this also if you are in search of a partner. If you are the best, expect the best!