Why It Can Be Difficult to Get Support Sometimes

From Recetas Para la Vida Contributing Bloggers -Iliana Berezovsky y Becky Krinsky

[Note from Aurelia:  All month we've been talking about how to get and keep support around you.  What can get in the way of that human support?  Sometimes we let our egos interfere.  See the following insights from our contributing bloggers, and make sure to go to their newly created fan page on Facebook and "Like" them to help them get started!  Click here to go to the Recetas Para la Vida Fan Page]

Recipe: “It’s easier to argue than to apologize”

Arguments lead to distance and cool all relationships.

How difficult it is for some people to ask for forgiveness when they make a mistake or even to recognize that they have caused pain without wanting to! Apologizing sincerely, however uncomfortable it may be, accepting the mistake made and repairing the caused damage leads to better relationships without so many complications, unnecessary arguments and vain excuses.

Most major conflicts are generated by a small incident that was not adequately resolved.

Several weeks ago there was a misunderstanding in Alegra’s family. Sandra, a distant cousin, accused Alegra’s son, Mateo, of having hit her son Nico. Mateo works as a leader of a group of kids that Nico participates in.

Sandra complained to the program director without first investigating what happened. If she had done so, she would have discovered that Nico had fabricated a story. Sandra’s hasty accusation harmed Mateo and made him feel very upset.

Alegra’s husband, got together with Sandra’s husband, and they cleared up what happened over a cup of coffee. Alegra’s husband commented that the right thing would have been to talk to Mateo and find out what happened, since the false accusation damaged his son’s reputation and created unnecessary complications that could have been avoided.

Sandra’s husband apologized for having caused problems for Mateo and explained that his wife is sometimes impulsive and allows herself to be easily influenced by negative comments or advice. He agreed to talk to Sandra and explain to her what had happened.

Sandra never got in touch with Alegra, but even so the matter had been cleared up, the families were at ease and, supposedly, there were no further misunderstandings.

A few weeks passed, and Alegra and Sandra ran into each other in the supermarket parking lot. They greeted each other in a friendly tone, and after chatting courteously, they got up to date on all the events of both families. A few minutes before saying goodbye, Alegra commented to her cousin that she wholeheartedly hoped not to have misunderstandings again and, if anything came up, to please talk to her directly and she would clear up the situation.

Without thinking, with rage and wild screams, Sandra said that she had every right to listen to and defend her son and had no reason to doubt him. She ended by saying that she did not want to have any more contact with Alegra or have anything to do with her again in the future. Alegra was dumbfounded, not understanding this reaction.

It would have been so easy to admit the mistake, simply apologize for what happened and end the day in peace….

“Each person can choose between taking responsibility for their actions or living in discord”

Recetas para la vida™ 
Apologizing for one’s mistake

Ingredients:
• 1 cup of acceptance
• 2 cubes of courage
• 3 cups of responsibility
• 2 tablespoons of repentance
• 1 bunch of sincerity
• 1 pinch of consideration

Seasonings:

Noble eye, kindness and attentiveness

Caution: An excuse is not an apology.

Method of preparation:

• A true apology shows great courage. It requires taking the first step, however painful and bothersome it may be, seasoning it with sensitivity and turning it into a humble yet grand act. Apologizing is not a weakness.

• Making a sincere apology without excuses is vital to giving good flavor. Taking responsibility for one’s own actions promotes genuine repentance, achieves a positive reconciliation and helps you cook with enjoyment and peace of mind.

• The injured person’s pain needs to be understood. Everyone has a different way of seeing things. It is important to respect the time that each person needs to be able to accept an apology, however well-intentioned it may be.

“Who is truly great? Someone who can accept his mistakes, take responsibility for his actions and manage to apologize wholeheartedly.”

Don’t forget, go to the facebook page now to become a fan of “Recipes for Life“!