January Recommendations

A former Simon & Schuster editor, Marcela Landres is the author of the e-book How Editors Think and specializes in helping Latinos get published.

Check out her webpage at: www.marcelalandres.com.

	Dancing with Butterflies: A Novel by Reyna Grande (Washington Square Press) A masterful depiction of women whose search for love and happiness is thwarted by their profound lack of self-knowledge.
	Mirrors by Eduardo Galeano (Nation Books) Before you can know yourself, you must first know your history; to that end, read Galeano’s Mirrors, a splendidly written, erudite telling of humankind’s past.

Review of Themes from 2009 (Part II)

In our last post, we talked about the themes the Powerful Latinas site (interviewees, blog posts, newsletters, book and film picks, etc) centered around in 2009.  Here is the second half of the list…

In July, the theme was La Vendida (the betrayer or “sell out”).  We talked a lot about the theme of betrayal in our lives, both in personal relationships, as well as how the idea of a “sell out” in our communities can be a tricky one to navigate.  Shouldn’t we all be working together to support and build each other up?

In August, the theme was La Trabajadora (the worker).  As Latinos, we are often taught to “work hard.”  Unfortunately, this may not always be the most valuable advice, since while a good work ethic is key to advancement, other characteristics are also of prime importance.  However, we still want to recognize and appreciate the work ethics we’re taught, be grateful for those who have gone before and worked hard to make it easier for us (!), and also reflect on what projects we choose to work hard at.  Finally, we talked about OVER-working ourselves, particularly as Latina women.

In September, the theme was La Llorona (the crying woman).  While discussing the myth and story of the traditional La Llorona legend, we also talked about why we cry as women, and how crying can help and heal us.

In October, the theme was La Bruja (the “witch”).  We talked about how we as women wield “magic,” how magic infuses our everyday lives, and the magic of love.  We also considered why it is that strong, powerful women can be considered a “witch,” the history of the word, and how we can be not so nice at times…

In November, the theme was La Hermana (the sister).  We contemplated how sisters (biological or not) bring so much to our lives, how they support and build with us, and also how the division between sisters can be harmful to families and communities.

In December, the theme was La Anciana/La Vieja (the elder/the old woman).  We talked about the wisdom of our elders, how we respect (or don’t respect) the aged, how we can reflect on and learn from our experiences, and how we can embrace the lessons we’ve learned.  In short, Don’t be scared of “aging”!  After all, what’s the alternative?

As you may know, we have an archive of prior newsletters, which should soon have all the newsletters from 2009, so if you missed past newsletters and want to go back and read the articles, you can do so here.  Also, remember, you can always go back and read prior blog posts here.

Next week, I’ll be unveiling the themes for 2010!  I hope you  enjoyed the themes, were moved by the questions and enjoyed reflecting on these ideas.

If this site is interesting and useful to you, please share it with your friends and have them sign up for the newsletter.  Happy New Year!

Review of Themes from 2009 (Part I)

Over the course of 2009, I wanted to give us all some focus around the lessons we were learning and the women we spoke with, as well as the ideas we would focus on to discuss and consider.  Additionally, the contributors to the site centered their contributions around the themes, as well.

I would encourage you to go back and review the book recommendations in Marcela’s Book Picks, as well as Sister Outsider Entertainment’s Flick Picks to see how they dovetail with the themes!  Also, you might want to click through a review of the women interviewed in 2009, in case some stories catch your interest.  Click here to see the list of prior Powerful Latina interviewees.

So that you can look at all the themes in one place, here they are in order:

In January, the theme was La Niña (the child).  We discussed innocence, curiosity, openness and wonder.  It was a time for us to reflect on how we bring the child-like qualities into our everyday lives, or how our wounded child might be causing us to (re)act in fear or other limiting ways.  We had Powerful Latina interviewees that work with youth, and those that were fearless young women themselves!

In February, the theme was La Coqueta/La Seductora (the flirt/seductress).  We discussed the stereotypical images of Latinas as “hot and fiery women” and then played with ideas of sensuality and sexuality and how Latinas are taught to approach these ideas, and what we can do to change these ideas, if we want to.  We talked with a Latina sex educator, a Latina who owns a “sexy shop,” and a Latina who writes erotica, among others.

In March, the theme was La Exploradora (the explorer), and I interviewed five Latinas in the sciences.  We talked about exploration and moving beyond our comfort zones.  It was fun to learn about different careers in the sciences, as well as talk about science in our everyday lives, and how we learn and talk about the sciences.

In April, the theme was La Chismosa (the gossip), and we talked about how our stories of others can hurt them, and ourselves.  We also discussed that sometimes the stories we tell about others can be supportive and uplifting (if done with the right intentions and energy).  We also talked about how we share information about others (with or without their permission) and what this means in our communities of women.  I interviewed some very interesting Latinas in the media this month.

In May, the theme was La Guerrillera (the warrior).  We interviewed women who had had struggles in their lives and were true women warriors.  In addition, we discussed how we have to do “battle” in our own lives, and how we choose our battles.  Do we fight only when necessary or are we too quick to draw our swords?

In June, the theme was La Madre (the mother).  In Latino cultures, the mother is venerated, honored and respected.  We talked about how a mother can be of such importance, but how sometimes the label of a “bad mother” can be the worst of all!  How do we view, interact with and BE mothers?

You may want to take time now to reflect a bit about your own answers to the questions we posed, and what you lessons you’ve learned over the past year.

Canto e invocación a la anciana ~winter solstice 2009

“La Anciana and the Solstice”

“Around her hearth is where she plays music and resounds- says, shouts and whistles, says. She is the mistress of the household says… Her voice and her breath are good, says. There is no problem nor any difficulty, says. There is no garbage, there is no dust- says.
Around her fire are the three stones of her hearth. Woman of the shade- says, woman of the doors- says, woman of the dooryard- says, …woman who dances- says, woman who shakes things up- says.
Bless her against evil whirlwinds and bad air- says, you are her voice and her breath- says.”
~Maria Aurora, Oaxacan healer

The mythopoetic chants of María Aurora were recorded in 1956 during a night-long vigil and healing ceremony, with her renowned aunt, Oaxacan shamaness, Maria Sabina. Like myth, the chants are metaphoric, healing, and alive. The imagery is that of an empowered woman. From her hearth, or place of power, she has the ability to travel between worlds, cleansing, healing, celebrating, and shaking things up in general. “Her voice and her breath are good.” She is honest and trustworthy. Protected from, she  protects against “evil whirlwinds” and mal aire. “You,” she says “are her voice and breath.” La anciana bestows her gifts upon the listener and reader!

As we approach the winter solstice, the longest night of the year, it seems appropriate to invoke la anciana, the elder, wise woman who brings medicine to the heart, mind, body and soul.

Among the ancient Mayan, turning 52 was a rite of passage in which one became an elder. 52 marks four cycles of thirteen and it is a sacred number to the Mayan. Respected and sought out for their wisdom, the elders, both, men and women, served the larger, extended family. They were intrinsic in keeping the larger community healthy and thriving as well.

Approaching my 55th year, I gratefully glean the wisdom of la anciana any and every where it happens upon me.  As we move towards an evolutionary shift in human consciousness, the voice of la anciana has begun to seep through the seams of our ailing society. Rising up through the cracks in our sidewalks, it glides freely in the whispers and echoes of the wind. It is found in the mythopoetry of indigenous healers, in the work of visionaries like Jean Houston and Barbara Marx Hubbard, who at 80 is a thriving force in the movement of “women on the edge of evolution.”

I find it among brave, single mothers and women facing serious illnesses, who still smile and laugh, cackle even at the slings and arrows of (seemingly) outrageous fortune.

La anciana’s wisdom is evident in the dedication of my sister Claudia, companion to my almost octogenarian mother, while working full time, (clearly a nominee for bodhisattvahood!)

I hear la anciana speaking daily through courageous, women journalists, storytellers, and professional women everywhere who are sharing their stories. Her voice is heard in engaging workshops and via fascinating tele-seminars by networking women and powerful Latinas like Aurelia Flores!

I find it among colleagues and am surprised and delighted when her wisdom surfaces among middle and high school students. I am blessed as I find her in my loving daughters whose wisdom and wit keep me laughing and on my toes, and whose tears bring to my knees.

This winter solstice on the longest night, I will take a moment to light a candle and go within, in search of la anciana. I want to thank her for the wisdom she has shared with me this year, for the courage she has given me to allow grief and move through it, and for the kindred spirits found in the unsuspecting nooks and crannies of our tumultuous planet, as one sun cycle dies and a new one spreads it seeds. I want to thank her in particular for the rich pages of the Powerful Latina where her wisdom and sabor have been duly appreciated and savored!

-Sandra del Castillo

The Biggest Taboo

I bet you are thinking I am going to talk about sex… Not today!

Sex is not the biggest taboo in our culture – believe it or not, it is money. Are you surprised?  When was the last time you talked freely about money?

When I am getting ready to start a workshop I tell women to get together with someone they don’t know and have a conversation.  The rule for this conversation is that they can only talk about two topics: sex or money.

If you could see their eyes!  They go wide open and then…..they go mute. I know those two topics are hard to share with someone you don’t know. The point I want to stress is that when we talk about sex, at least we smile and giggle but with money, we all get really serious and tense.

Money is a serious topic, so serious we rarely talk about it and when we do it’s to say we don’t have it, or how hard it is to earn it, among other things. Financial education was not available to us and the internal personal aspects of money are never talked about.

If you want to bring the topic to a therapeutic setting you may not find resolution because the majority of people in this field have not dealt with the issue themselves and they have not been trained to help their clients in this realm.

How can we talk freely about money when we have a distorted perception of it?
We put very negative emotions into money, making it very difficult to talk about the subject with ease.

To talk about money in a healthy way we must transform our relationship with money by addressing issues like:

•    frustration for not manifesting the money we deserve, for being an underearner.
•    anxiety when dealing with money
•    guilt for overspending or hoarding it, and
•    clarity about whatever you are feeling around money.

My invitation to you is to consider starting a woman’s circle where you can share your experiences with money in a small group, and talk about it freely. One way to start such a circle is by organizing a book club that focuses on money.

I highly recommend Money, a memoir by Liz Perle.  This book will spark a discussion — start by talking about the author’s issues and at the same time it will give room for the women in the circle to start talking about their own issues. Once the circle gets closer the group can share their money auto-biography which contains powerful information about our beliefs about money.

Over the course of the upcoming year, I’ll share more ideas around money and how we can unpack some of our own issues around this “taboo” topic!

What Leads to the Wisdom of La Anciana/La Vieja?

Wisdom comes from a variety of sources. It can come from experience, but it doesn’t have to. Someone has said that an expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. However, as we all know, the smart thing is to learn from OTHERS’ mistakes so we don’t have to make those mistakes personally.

Or, if you’re like me, you get to make mistakes is LOTS of fields, so you neither get to claim the title expert, nor learn things the easy way. Ah, the joy (and stubbornness) of youth! Whether or not you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your youth, with time, you get the luxury of reflecting on not only your own mistakes, but those you’ve seen made by those around you.

And instead of sitting in judgment, one can simply ask oneself if the outcome of the actions someone took led them to their intended conclusion. Sometimes the actions do and sometimes they do not. I have noted I learn a lot from people who show me how I DON’T want to be!

Wisdom is a thing of true value - we cannot put a price on it, and yet it is highly coveted.

As we age, I believe that we become more reflective of who we are, and, interestingly, even as we become more aware of our own shortcomings, we also become more gentle with ourselves, more forgiving and more accepting. And hopefully, as we learn to accept ourselves, we likewise learn to accept others.

So, be proud of your age, your wisdom, the lessons you’ve learned (either personally or through watching others), and share the gifts you’ve been given with others! But only if your wisdom is requested and received willingly. I don’t know about you, but I have found that I cannot “force” someone to learn from my mistakes, even if I’m trying to prevent them pain and heartache.

Who around you has imparted to you her wisdom, and which lessons have you had to learn yourself? Have you become more self-aware, more gentle and tender with yourself as you age, or are you more impatient and frustrated with your place in the world? How are you proud of how far you’ve come (regardless of age)?

I’ll admit I like to be guessed at a younger age than I am (vanity, I guess!), but I sure wouldn’t give up the lessons I’ve learned. For those, I am SO grateful. Would love to hear your thoughts and feedback!

December Latina Flick Picks

MALDEAMORES

Maybe it’s because Latino culture values its elderly or perhaps because our ancianos tend to be youthful. For whatever reason, we did not find any shortage of older Latina characters to serve as the focus of this month’s flick pick. (We were hard pressed, however, to find a vehicle that placed una anciana at the center of the story.)  We found Flora of MALDEAMORES to be the most compelling of these characters (although Doña Genoveva of HOW THE GARCIA GIRLS SPENT THEIR SUMMER and Sister Peter Marie – played by the unstoppable Rita Moreno – on HBO series OZ were strong contenders.)

Set in Puerto Rico, MALDEAMORES consists of three distinct stories about lovesickness, and we found the most compelling of these to be Flora’s story. At the age of 72, Flora finds herself living with her two ex-husbands who vie for attention.  It is both a funny and poignant depiction of time’s inability to squelch desire, and Flora models many of the ways we can respond to desire no matter our age.

1.    When asked her age at her birthday party, Flora responds that she has lived seventy-two springs. Why do you think she chose to reveal her age in that way?

2.    Make a list of all the various moments when other characters attempt to make Flora bend to their will. What tactics do they use?  How does she respond?  Journal about how you relate to these attempts and what you learned from Flora’s responses.

3.    Flora is no stranger to getting her way either.  It can be argued that this is precisely what makes her so desirable to both Pellín and Cirilo. List the moments in which Flora gets her way, how she goes about getting what she wants, and why she is effective.

4.    When Flora tells Cirilo that she loves and needs him, do you think she was telling him what he wanted to hear or that she truly meant it? Regardless of her motivation, what role do you believe her age played in her decision to respond to his question in that way?

5.    Journal about the ways in which you would like to be like Flora when you are seventy-two.  Which of these qualities do you already possess and which do you think you may have to cultivate over time? Are there any qualities that you believe can only be achieved through the process of aging i.e. just living life, accumulating experiences and learning the lessons they bring? How, if at all, does experiencing Flora’s story enable you to (re)imagine what kind of anciana you would like be?

December Recommendations

A former Simon & Schuster editor, Marcela Landres is the author of the e-book How Editors Think and specializes in helping Latinos get published.

Check out her webpage at: www.marcelalandres.com.

	Sister Teresa: A Novel by Barbara Mujica (Overlook) A richly researched and gripping account of the original wise Latina, Saint Teresa of Avila.
	Sonia Sotomayor: A Judge Grows in the Bronx by Jonah Winter, illustrated by Edel Rodriguez (Atheneum) Pride and inspiration leap off the pages of this bilingual children’s book about the woman who single-handedly made “wise” and “Latina” synonymous.

My First, Most Beloved Anciana

The first anciana who played a major role in my life was my mother’s mother, Maria Treviño Guerra, who was at once typical and atypical for her generation.

Her grandfather was Lyman Phillips, an Irish-American veteran of the Mexican/American War, who fell in love with a Mexican señorita, married her, and took her to Texas, where they raised a family and struggled to survive. My grandmother never attended school and used to say: “Mis pies nunca han cruzado el portal de una escuela.” “My feet have never crossed the doorway of a school.” She said it with humility but with a note of defiance, daring anyone to accuse her of being less worthy for being unschooled.

At the unconventional age of 28, she married Jose Guerra, who was likewise illiterate and who learned how to write his name—only his name—in shaky cursive, proudly signing checks and other documents as needed. Grandma Guerra eventually taught herself to read and write in Spanish. Her handwriting was elegant, flowing cursive written with precision and grammatical correctness. As a child, I loved watching her sit at her kitchen table, wearing her wire-rimmed reading glasses, a pencil (sharpened with a kitchen knife) in hand, slowly, meticulously writing missives to her sisters 40 miles away. Absorbed in thought, she was the picture of a scholarly author at her craft.

She only read the Bible, her Sunday missal, and the local Spanish paper. I never thought to ask her to read aloud to me, so I don’t know how well she read. But at the end of the day, when she sat on her wooden porch, in the old brown chair stationed by the screen door, her hand-sewn apron on, she was quietly lost in her self-created literary world. I loved sitting with her, my grandfather near us. He was always silent, smoking his Bugler hand-rolled cigarettes. He never seemed threatened by his wife’s literacy.

Grandma Guerra lived to serve. It was from her that I learned the simple ethic of helping others, though I’ve never been able to practice it as she did. She cooked, washed, and cleaned, not only for her husband and herself, but for my mother’s family, nine of us children in varying stages of rebellion, disarray, and evolution. For much of my childhood and adolescence, Grandma Guerra—or “Big G,” as my seven brazen brothers called her—lived under our roof and was the first human I saw each day upon awakening. Her breakfasts were substantial and delicious. Her daily admonitions to us were unfailingly loving and stern as she put each of us out the door with blessings and warnings to go to school and learn well.

Grandpa died more than a decade before Grandma did, and my mother divorced my father while we children were still young. So it was these two women, pillars of strength and incredible hard work, who raised us and suffered through many hells doing so. Yet Grandma never raised her voice against us, even when my rowdy brothers played hooky or got into fistfights with neighbor boys. She never failed to rise each morning before dawn, get the kitchen fires burning, set out clothes for the younger kids, and hold down the symbolic fort while Mother went to work 50 miles away. Grandma was our mother in her absence.

One incident in particular speaks strongly of Grandma’s love. I was finishing graduate school and had recently given birth. My husband was out of state, so Grandma was temporarily staying with me to help with the baby and housework. I was sleep-deprived, waking up throughout the night to feed my son, studying during the day, and attending classes in the evenings. Texas nights were incredibly hot, as we didn’t have air-conditioning. I tossed and turned in bed when I was finally able to get into it. One hot night, after an especially difficult day, I snoozed uncomfortably…then suddenly felt refreshed and cool. The breeze was heavenly! What was happening?

Through half-open eyes, I saw Grandma sitting on the edge of my bed. She had made a fan of her folded newspaper and was fanning me gently, most likely trying hard not to awaken me. I protested mildly, telling her to go back to bed, that I was OK. She ignored me and continued fanning me wordlessly. Soon, I drifted off to a serene sleep.

My siblings used to joke that Grandma should be canonized. She was the closest thing to a saint that we’d ever know. Saint Grandma Guerra. The name evokes loving memories that continue to inspire me.

Sex y La Viejita

I’m sure you get the ‘heebie jeebies’ thinking about grandma and grandpa knocking boots, right? So do I. How can sweet grandma, who makes tortillas and makes chorizo burritos, get busy with “tata”?

You’ll be surprised.

When we think of senior citizens having sex we automatically think of negative stereotypes: The dirty old geezer or the horny old lady. The issue, however, is that many seniors come to accept these stereotypes as true, and they then risk losing one of the most important parts of their lives and their health. Whether or not we want to acknowledge it sex after 60 is a MUST for seniors, and they are doing it more than you know or want to admit.

“The reality is that older people are a lot sexier than younger people think. The common notion is that when you are old you don’t - and maybe shouldn’t - have sex. Our studies have shown that older people are sexier in attitude and performance than they have been credited for,” said Dr. Walter M. Bortz II, author of “We Love Too Short and Die Too Long”.

And if you didn’t believe what he said, check out what this doctor had to say. “You must realize that in the U.S. the biggest use of prostitutes is on the day Social Security checks come out,” concluded Dr. John Morley, director of the division of geriatric medicine at St. 
Louis University.

Stalled Sexual Energy - I need a jump!

What can you do if your sexual pilot light has gone out? The answer may surprise you. It is communication. One of the problems with older people is there is even less talk about sex than there was before.

Communication can also help overcome another problem that plagues
seniors- feeling that nobody will find their older body sexy. Self- image is important regardless of age. Once self-esteem is better, a person can begin to explore his or her newfound sexuality. A good starting point for both men and women is masturbation.

Sex and the Older Woman

Not surprisingly, maintaining sexual function is different for men and women. For men, the concern centers mostly on erections, whereas for women the concern is in opportunity. Older women tend to think that sex lives end once the husbands pass away. This is not the case.

If a young woman doesn’t have a man in her life, she goes out and finds one. She is actively looking.. However, there is this paradigm for older women that once their partner has died it is all over for them. It is a nostalgic, romantic image. Regardless of age, physical touching and romance should be with all of us until the last twinkle.

One of the disincentives for women is painful intercourse due to thinning of the vaginal tissues as estrogen levels decline. As a result, it is suggested that older women use lubricants. Water-based, not silicone is recommended.

It’s Go Time!

One thing to remember is ALWAYS practice safe sex, and no matter how old we are, we are still sexual beings. Sex is an important component and we should enjoy it at 20, 30, 50, 80 years old. Okay so at 80, we won’t be using the swing, but we can make do with a walker or a wheelchair.

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